Unintended Impact

You throw a pebble into calm water and watch the ripples until they reach the shore. It's the same with our choices, which are the pebbles of our lives. Life is a series of events; pebbles thrown into the water. Every situation that we face in our lives has thoughts and emotions. Every decision we make has a direct impact on others and lest we forget the indirect impact as well. Every decision you make, every action you take has consequences. Just because I don't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist. There were pebbles thrown and ripples on the water well before I came into existence that have had an impact on my life.

How do you avoid unintended impact or consequences? AND Do you event want to avoid unintended impacts?

In my experience, while it may not always be possible to avoid the impact you have on others, you can be more aware - and thus encounter less "unintended" impacts.  By paying attention to the ripples, by stepping outside yourself long enough to understand and recognize that the choices you make today could affect not only you, but also others for years, and even generations to come.

Consider this scenario:

                                                 

Recently, Mary decided to paint her kitchen. There were paint cans out, floor coverings, a ladder.. the usual stuff you'd have out to paint your kitchen.  The phone rang and a friend on the other line invited Mary to the chance to do something she very much wanted to do. So she left the rest of the painting to her husband John, and apologized that she didn't mean to dump that extra work on him. That is, the adverse consequences for him were just an unintended byproduct of her choice. John graciously accepted his wife's apology.

While Mary's imposition on John was unintended, it was not unpredictable. It was a completely predictable consequence of Mary’s choice. That the intent she had in mind did not include imposing costs on John left unchanged the fact that it did so.

Under what circumstances is "I didn't mean to" a sufficient excuse or apology, with no further actions required? What, if anything, is your responsibility in the ripple created?

This post is in the spirit of opening a dialogue about this topic Unintended Impact and it’s ripple effect.