Who's Your Biggest Critic?

Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves  - Germaine Greer

Big dreams are the fuel of personal growth and progress. Yet so many people choose to think within the box - a limited space that's been created either by their fears or by their belief that it isn't possible to live their lives bigger or better. The result? Instead of embracing the energy of change, they resign themselves to the frustration that comes with stagnation.
Often what keeps us in our place is that inner voice that becomes louder and more insistent in proportion to the grandeur of our dreams. Although this voice goes by many names - The Saboteur, The Gremlin, The Inner Critic, The Judge, and so on - it is always ready to dish out judgment, rules, and limiting beliefs just as we are about to step out and take a personal risk to achieve change and fulfillment. The voice usually says things like...

   You can't...

   You should...

   You shouldn't...

   You're too.....

   It's too late...

   You don't have the time...

   Maybe someday....

 ...and as we listen, our confidence and resolve begins to disappear. Then, instead of designing and manifesting the life we want, we retreat, never to know the joy that comes from following our bliss.

Your challenge this week is to continue that process by identifying and neutralizing the inner voice (which I will refer to as the saboteur) that holds you back whenever you want to step out and think big.

• The first step in this neutralization process is to simply be aware and notice when your saboteur starts to speak. What is the situation? Is there a pattern to its appearances?
• Once you've developed an awareness of your saboteur's patterns, give it an identity. Have fun with this - give it a name and a personality, and create a visual image of it. By bringing your saboteur out of hiding and giving it an identity, it begins to lose its power to cause you fear and stall your actions. The more vivid and humorous your image is, the more easily you will be able to deal with what your saboteur says.
• Understand that your saboteur's motives are to protect you from pain and disappointment, but it's only one part of your being that is playing the role of the over-protective parent. Tune into the other voices that are speaking and hear what they say, always making sure you listen for messages that are aligned with your personal core values.
• Finally, develop an inner coach to dialogue with the saboteur. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half lengthwise, and on the left side make a list of the most common statements your saboteur makes whenever you decide to try something new. Then, for each negative statement, write a response that comes from your other, positive voices. Give these affirmative statements to your inner coach to use whenever your saboteur shows up with negative messages. Your coach will speak powerfully from the authority of your values and counter the nay-saying of your inner critic.

Learning to recognize your saboteur and developing a strategy to enlist the support of your inner coach is an important tool for your personal growth. Once you understand that you can choose your thoughts, you can start to think big and take action on those thoughts. You can look at your dreams and have the confidence to follow them.