What are you settling for?

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ~ Maureen Dowd

Inside each one of us there is a vision of the type of life we want. We may have seen images of it in our youth and most certainly at some point as we began our adult lives. I believe that everyone has the ability to live an authentic and fulfilled life. Why then do people settle for less than they want or deserve?

When you settle, whether it be in a relationship or job, you lose sight of your dreams and at some point you may not even be able to connect to those dreams again. Many of my clients come to me as a result of the realization that they have been living their life in auto pilot. It's as if they woke up one morning and found themselves in the middle of their life and in a space of regret for all the time that's slipped by. What have they been doing? Certainly not living their life on purpose.

As I listen to their life story it seems clear that they've settled for most of the experiences that life has brought them. Key words - brought them. The idea of creating a life according to their dreams seems almost foreign and certainly unfathomable at this stage. They've lost that sense of reverence, of sacredness, of reaching for something high and something that moves them.

I've heard people say that it's easier to just settle. They say things like "I'm too old at this stage of my life to change things" or "it's too hard." And to that I say "Where there is a will, there is a way!" No, this isn't easy for me to say, I did it. I changed my life. I took risks and put myself out on the ledge. The rewards have far outweighed the risk. I found it hard to continue to settle. The truth is, the more you settle, the more you betray yourself.

Stop...and imagine your ideal life. Really stop and focus on the images that come to your mind. What would it look like? Where would you live? Who are the people you'd surround yourself with? What would you do? Is there more adventure? More humor?

Imagine the life you could have and how amazing it would be to live your life intentionally all the time! Connect with that vision, deep down, and ask yourself whether you can really go on settling, whether you can continue to do that to yourself.

Where are you settling in your life? What mantra do you keep hearing over and over in your head that keeps you from living your ideal life? What story are you telling yourself that keeps you from taking a chance on living within your integrity?

I challenge you to do one thing this week to bring you closer to doing that one thing that you've put off and always wanted to do. What is that one thing?

In peace and love,

Robyn

Being Happy

I recently read the book Being Happy by Andrew Matthews.  In the book there is a wonderful piece written by an eighty five year old man who learned he was dying.  As I read the passage pasted below, the question that came to me was: Why does it take death or near death experiences to inspire people to live?  When I witnessed my father's passing I found myself vowing to live my life to it's fullest and wonder why it took such an event to motivate me.  Are we born with the belief that time is limitless and at what point do we notice that each day is a gift and could actually be our last?

If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn’t be so perfect. I would relax more. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier that I’ve been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously. I’d be crazier. I’d be less hygienic.

I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips, I’d climb more mountains, I’d swim more rivers, I’d go places I’ve never been to. I’d eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I’d have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones! 

You see, I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh. I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of those moments – moment by moment by moment.

I’ve been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it all over again I’d travel lighter next time. If I had to do it all over again, I’d start earlier in the spring and stay way later in the fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d watch more sunrises, and I’d play with more children, if I had my life to live over again. ~ But you see, I don’t.

Seize the day!

~ Robyn

What have you been putting off in your life that you could be doing now?

What’s stopping you from living a fulfilled life?

Independence Day

We are blessed to live in a land that affords such freedom and opportunity, and that is protected by such brave men and women. These famous quotes on patriotism celebrate our nation and our love of country.

I believe in America because we have great dreams--and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.   ~Wendell L. Wilkie

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.  
~ John F. Kennedy


There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence, and energy of her citizens cannot cure.  ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail? ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~Author unknown

I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom. ~Simone de Beauvoir

Freedom is the oxygen of the soul. ~Moshe Dayan
 

Happy Independence Day! 

Room to Breathe

Is the world shifting or is it just my perception of the world?  I've noticed over the past few months that many of my relationships have changed.  They feel safer, more consistant and open.  Is it me or them? 

My entire being is filled with gratitude for the people who have come in and out of my life.  It's all been for me.  As I look back over the course of my life, I notice that I was in constant wait and hope to find my comfort and feel grounded.  I was living life as if it were a dress rehearsal.  What I didn't realize was that it (my life) was happening and that by wishing for something different, I was missing it.  My life and world was all within me.

What I think of the world and the people I surround myself IS my world. 
It's as simple as that!
 
Who would you be in your life if you didn't believe thoughts like I should be different.  I need something else.  He is rude.  She cut me off.  He shouldn't have said that. She should appreciate me.  Mother's are supposed to____.  Husband's shouldn't _____.  Wife's should _____. 

What I have found is that without these thoughts (true or not) there is room to breathe and witness the beauty of what is.  When I hold should and shouldn't as rules, I limit myself and my experience of others. 

I invite you to find room to breathe this weekend as you witness yourself and your thoughts about others.  Take a moment to consider who you would be in that moment, if that negative or judgmental thought didn't appear.  What would be different?  I challenge you to walk past the thought and love the way of it.

My sweet son, Angelo painted this for me and it reminds me of how we all hold the world in our hands.  What does your world look like?

 

In peace and love,

Robyn