A sweet friend of mine
passed away two weeks ago. Adam was 51 years old and his passing was sudden. My
husband and I went to the family's home to be with his wife, Nina and family. Adam and Nina have two children. I heard their daughter, Rebecca (11yrs)
crying. I wobbled on what to do. Is it my business? Should
I offer myself? I don't want to interfere. She was with Nina and there were family surrounding them - casually sitting nearby.
I felt a strong pull, an
urge. It was a curious pull and for a moment I considered what the pull was towards. What was my stake in that moment?
The core feeling and intention in that moment was compassion and wanting to
offer a perspective that may be overlooked in the midst of grief. It was
so strong that I noticed myself stand up and walk over to where the little
girl cried as her mother held her. I just softly touched her arm and
smiled. It was safe. I saw in Nina's eyes that I was welcome.
I asked Rebecca a simple question and watched her open up in such a sweet
vulnerable way that my heart poured out to her. I gently shared my experience
with my father passing away and then asked her a few more questions that had a
wonderfully positive impact on her immediately. She opened up and while
I won't go into all the details, I can say that in that moment I saw my
purpose and it was strong and clear.
The next morning I received
a note of gratitude from Nina for talking with her daughter. Receiving
this acknowledgment was a gift and told me to notice where I follow my instinct
and to question what stops me.
Honoring my urge and doing so after
questioning what my stake was, helped me be purposeful in my delivery and thus
the impact. As I reflect on this
I notice that I have strong "stakes" in my life.
I've never used that word before so it was a bit odd for me to wrap my head
around at first and now I'm finding all the "stakes" that have driven
me in my life. The word that resonates more for me is motive. What
is my motive? In this I find where it's about ego vs. offering to
another. My stake or motive that night was coming from my heart.
It was void of any ego or interfering. It's hard to put into words the
out of body experience that I had as I walked from the kitchen to where
Rebecca was - and it was just an amazing space of giving as I honored my
stake. I feel like a space is opening for me and I'm eager to see where
it takes me.
What about you? What was the last urge you followed? How did it turn out?
In peace,
